People keep making the assumption that I am retired. I can't seen to convince them that I haven't turned off my brain and am spending my time sitting around and smoozing with the codgers at the mall. The truth is that I am self-employed and this gives me the freedom to work when, and as hard as, I wish. Well, I wish to keep busy and I do.  Here are a few of the events of the past few days:

 

-- Write a blog posting for my client, Marcos' company blog http://loopconsulting.blogspot.com/.

 

-- Write the text for the next issue of the Miami-dade College enewsletter.

 

-- Talk with Marcos a couple of times a day - strategizing for his business.

 

-- Meet with the board of our condo association and get the numbers together so I can help the treasurer set up the budget for this year.

 

--  Write postings for this blog.

 

-- Take Penny's mother to the airport for her trip to visit Penny's daughter in Florida.

 

-- Shop for groceries (here the store manager greeted me and congratulated me on the story in the local paper.)

 

-- Make arrangements for our trip to Oberlin, Ohio to join my family from California for a concert by my grand niece who is studying voice at Oberlin College.

 

-- Pay the bills and take care of our bank accounts.

 

-- Exchange email notes with some of our blogging friends, especially PebblePie.

 

-- Take documents to the bank for the closing of the sale of one of the units in our condo.

 

-- Visit the video store and the library.

 

-- Talk to my best friend and long-distance business partner, Gene. Give him some of the advice he has requested regarding a job he is doing for a client of his.

 

Hey, that's just a starter list. I don't know where the days are going - but they move by swiftly - so swiftly it is kind of scarey.

 

Non-retirement?  I LOVE it!

 

 

I just heard from Lee Roberts, who wrote the story, that my piece will be published April 11 in a special section of the NY Times on retirement. I'm going down to the newsstand a reserve a copy right away. Who knows, maybe the story will also be in the online edition of the Times and everyone will be able to view it.

I plan to die with my boots on. But first I have to buy a pair. Til then, I'm here.  Is that positive, or what?

Right on the heels of my posting about late night thoughts of my approaching demise, here comes some news that sets the whole schedule back some.

 

I just completed my annual physical checks: cholesterol, bood sugar, liver function, blood thickness, cardiovascualr function - and the all the rest.  Most of you know the routine, right?

 

Well the report card gives me a high passing grade.  Everything is as it should be.

 

This may not mean much to you, but I guarantee that it means a hell of a lot to me!

 

So now I can quit bitching and moaning about  my tenuous  mortaility and buzz on down the road as I always have.

 

That's the organ recital for today.

 

 

I guess like most us us. when I am lying in bed at night, awake, I do some heavy duty thinking. With no distractions, the mind is able to completely dedicate itself to a subject.  I have come up with some good ideas for my business life in the night. So good, in fact, that I am compelled to get up and write the idea out.

 

But other nights I get into thoughts about how long do I have left in this life and what are going to be the problems of the terminal weeks and days. This is something that never happened until I was in my 80s.

 

I think about what problems I am going to leave behind and what I might do to alleviate them. The next day I will take another look at my will and the "Cleaning up Pete's Business" memo that I have written and distributed to those who will be involved in settling my estate. Meager as  the estate  is, there are going to be a lot of details to take care of.

 

My greatest concern, by far, is that I will wind up being a huge burden for Penny.  It was with this in mind that I was reluctant to court Penny - I didn't want to inflict this stuff on her.  I discussed this with her in the most straightforward way and she refused to even consider it a barrier to our developing romance.

 

But at night in bed my practical side takes over and I see myself bed bound, with Penny trying to take care of me. Thank God I have extended care insurance which will bring nursing services into the home - or if it gets to be too much to handle at home, it will help to cover nursing home services.

 

Those of you who don't have this kind of coverage should give it serious thought. The earlier you enroll in such a program, the lower the monthly premiums.

 

Well, this does sound morbid, doesn't it. But when one gets into the later years these realities beging to loom ahead and they are hard to ignore.

 

In the light of day most of this thinking becomes minimized by all the other things that are going through ones mind. During the day, I say, "Well, I am not at all ready at this moment to consider becoming debilitated. I am doing just fine."

 

But then night will come and I will have to find other things to think about as I lie in the dark.

 

 

I don't often blog about religion but this is, I hope, a noteworthy exception. Actually, the subject here is not religous beliefs, but what the church community can mean to one in late life.

 

When I moved to Bloomington 8 years ago, I knew nobody but my family members. So, I kind of tagged on to the life of my children.  A very important part of their life is the Menonite church, so I started going to the services along with them.

 

I had church episodes in my life, was actually an elder of the Congregational Church in San Francisco. But I never felt the acceptance and support that I found in our Menonite church. Here I found an atmosphere that was sort of an extension of my family. Here I began to feel like I was a part of this broader community.

 

When I was hospitalized, members of the congregation visited me and communicated genuine concern for the state of my health. I will never forget one member, who is also a nurse. sitting by my bed and holding my hand while we talked.

 

And speaking of medical emergencies, I have had a few. Penny has called our Pastor Tim and he was at my side in the emergency room before my doctor got there.

 

But church participation has brought me much more than support during illness. The Sunday services warm my soul. There are the greetings when we arrive, the delightful children's time when the tots come to the front and are told a story, the magnificent music.  Last week we had the 50-person Camerata Singers choir on tour from Bluffton University. Their music was so beautiful it brought tears to our eyes.

 

Then there is the heart of the service - The sermon. Pastor Tim brings his subject matter to life in an intelligent, and moving, way that leaves us with thoughts for living a loving life.

 

If this sounds like a testimonial, maybe it is. But the main thought is that finding the right church can immeasurably enrich ones later years.

Here is a great little story:

 

An elderly man owned a large farm. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.

 

One evening the old man decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

 

As he neared the pond he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer to the pond he saw it was a group of women skinny dipping. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

 

One of the women shouted, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

 

The old man frowned. "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."  Holding up the bucket he said, "I'm here to feed the alligators."

 

Moral: Old men can still think fast.

Now, let's get back to the mission of this blog - to discuss the conditions of aging and the challenge of living with those conditions.

 

I used to see old people walking in a bent-over posture -- or having trouble getting up and down in chairs. I thought it was something about the body getting weaker and stiffer as one ages. Well, I now know it is all about pain. They are bent over because it hurts to stand straight. They get up and down with difficulty because it is painful.

 

If we are to believe the commercials for over-the-counter pain medications, they will take care of the pain and have you living like those attractive old people in the ads - playing tennis or sailing their yachts. But, the fact, is that these medications may do little or nothing to effectively reduce pain for a reasonable period of time.

 

So, living with pain and trying to deal with it becomes a top priority for most late lifers.

 

Well, you are thinking, why don't you go to your doctor and have him treat it?

 

The answer is that we do.  Our primary physicians have become gun shy about prescribing the powerful pain medications: Darvoset, Tylenol 3, Vicodin, etc. That is because some physicians have been indicted for over- prescribing these drugs.Our government bodies have a strong effect on this.  They are terrorizing the physicians.

 

So, why not go to the pain clinics? Well, we do and they are in the same boat. But, when they prescribe drugs and one's primary physician finds out, there is sometimes disagreement between the doctors.

 

So, we hurt. Penny knows about that.  Yesterday she was on the couch crying because she hurt so much. She is off of all medications and her primary physician thinks that just great. But it sure as hell isn't.

 

 Kat knows about this. She has written about the tyranny of pain.

 

There are no easy answers to dealing  with late life pain - or midlife pain. We live with it and hope that it will be cyclical and there will be a period of less pain.

 

But it is our hope that someday pain doctors and primary physicians will get on the same page and find some answers for us.

Do people read our central Illinois newspaper, the Pantagraph? There has never been any doubt, but our experience with the results of the article about our blogging sure documents how well  they read it.

 

Yesterday we had 600 more visitors than we normally get. And a check on the statistics show that they all came from Pantagraph readers.

 

Then there was the experience I had at the Jewel supermarket yesterday.  I was in line at the checkout counter and the checker looked up, pointed her finger at me and said, "That was you in the paper this mroning, wasn't it?"

Before I could answer, someone else in the line looked at me and said "Oh, you're the blogger!"

 

We have been getting email from people who know us because they saw the story.

 

Now, are we going have to contend with those damned paparazzi? Are our evenings out on the town going to be interrupted by those demanding autographs?

 

We shudder to think of the negative implications of fame.

Hey,, the story about us and our Late Life blog appeared this morning on the front page of the Bloomington, IL Pantagraph newspaper!

 

So, welcome to you Pantagraph readers who have decided to check us out as a result of this story. We'd be happy to have you join our blogging community.

 

And thanks to the Pantagraph editors, writer Bob Holliday and photographer Carlos Miranda for treating us so well.

 

This is no small stuff. The Pantagraph covers central Illinois and a population of over 150,000.

 

Now, I have to scan the story and  post it up so you all can see it. The headline was "A New Wrinkle In Blogging" (pretty cute, huh?) then goes on to make a lot about Pete being one of the oldest bloggers. Bob Holliday did his research thoroughly - talked about bloggers with the people at our public library and also talked to product manager Karin Muskopf at MSN Spaces. She speculates that Pete is one of the oldest of the bloggers in Spaces. He also cited research by Pew Internet and American Life Project regarding the age of bloggers. This research shows that Internet users 12 to 28 are most likely to be bloggers.

 

But the big thing here is that there are legion of us Late Life bloggers out there and we have a great time doing it!

          It's not easy being green - or old. Tuesday, February 28, I had a female massage therapy client with a self-esteem level of zero.

 

I have three types of clients. Some talk incessantly. Some talk sporadically. Others don't want to talk at all. My Tuesday client, let's call her Bonnie, talked all the time.

 

Every part of her body that I touched she apologized for." I am sorry", Bonnie said, "My butt's too big. I'm sorry," Bonnie said,"I have stretch marks."

 

It was a 60-minute massage and everything I touched, she would say, "I'm sorry."

 

After 30 minutes she turned over onto her back. I started massaging Bonnie's feet. She said, I'm sorry about my feet. I just got oof of work, they probably smell. I covered her foot up, sat down in a chair next to her and said, "Bonnie, it's not easy being green. I'm not perfect - you're not perfect. Both of us are in our 60's - not Barbie dolls. Start liking what you are and stop making excuses for what you think you should be.

 

She's coming back in two weeks.