Now, that title is sure a downer, isn't it?  However, no publication that deals with the later years can avoid the unpleasant truth:  as we age we accumulate ailments.  I am talking about chronic ailments - or the incurable kind.

 

At this moment I am thinking of myself and four specific people who are close to me that forge on through life, even though their bodies are not being cooperative. But what is the alternative -- to give up and lie around moaning and groaning?  All of us do our best to ignore the pain and other symptoms and make life as normal as possible.

 

Penny is one of those with continuing chronic pain.  In her case, it is in the neck, shoulders and back. The diagnosis is deteriorating disks.  She had three of them fused and that is as far as the medics want to go with that procedure. But Penny goes to work on her massage clients each day and never gives them a clue as to how she is feeling. When I ask her how she can do it, she says that when she applies herself to doing massages she focuses on that and the pain submerges.

 

My personal experience is that those continuous, nagging pains have been around so long that I tend to ignore them. They are just a part of life.

 

What do the doctors do about these afflictions?  Unfortunately, some doctors write them off as effects of aging. It used to be that they would prescribe some powerful pain pills, but now they are backing off of that. Afraid of being nailed for prescription abuse. So, that leaves the over-the-counter pain medications, some which I can't use because they can cause stomach bleeding.

 

Well, I have written this because I know a lot of you can identify with it. And I know that you, too, are making the best of life, in spite of the aches and pains. So, kudos to all of us!!!

Penny and I have been going through the comments here and would like you to know how much we appreciate them. There is nothing better than feed back when we do postings. And, beyond that, we feel that we have some genuine friendships developing with some of you,

 

All of you have heard of Dear Abby. If you disagree with her, trying asking P&P. We'll apply our years of life experience and be disgustingly honest. lol

 

Love from Penny and Pete

"When I'm 64" - that is the song we heard today, when Pete and I were having lunch and watching CNN Headline News. It accompanied the news that Sir Paul McCartney just turned 64. Hooray - he's one year older than I! To me 64 is not old.  I believe that I have a good thirty years in front of me.

 

The Beatles also recorded a song called "Yesterday." I can hear the song in my head and the words that they wrote are poetic. I am a listener not an observer. I guess my point is a person can grow musically and  intellectually if they just pay attention to what they are hearing.

 

As for me, I am going to "Follow The Yellow Brick Road." to find out where "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" really resides.

I see that there was strong agreement regarding two of my gripes. That is, waits for doctors and lack of service in retail establishments. Cheryl's experience with the broken leg is a hair curler.  Also, I do agree that Wal-Mart does a good job of helping its customers. Wish there were more retailers like them.

 

Before I go on, Penny and I would like to welcome back Pat at Eleanor's Cottage. We were delighted to have her comment and see that she is posting again on her marvelous site. Her blog relfects a person who, in her quiet way, brings beauty to the world. Her warm concern for others is notable. (link to the right).

 

OK, let's continue with our statement of likes and dislikes.  I sort of feel that I am playing Tom's game in "If I Were King." That is, here are some things that I would change if I could. (Also linked at the right).

 

-- Impossible-to-open packaging.  We did a posting on this in May 2005 and it is worth revisiting. Yesterday  a package arrived with a new electric shaver screen and cutters. The screen is quite fragile so it was encased in a hard plastic shell. I tried to cut the edge of the plastic with a knife and nearly woumded myself. Then I used a big pair of scissors to cut away the edges of the plastic dome.  Once this was done I still had difficulty removing the screen which was nested in the plastic. This is definitely packaging overkill.

 

-- Restaurants that overserve. Restaurant owners seem to think that we will feel cheated if they don't overload our plates. It really bothers me that I have all that food awaiting me that I know I shouldn't totally consume. In France, they do much smaller servings and what is on the plate is totally appreciated. I know,  you can take leftovers home if you can't finish your serving.  But often this food is not nearly as good when reheated. Hey, folks, serve less and lower the price. Then we win two ways.

 

-- Parking place thieves.  How often have you been in a parking lot, ready to turn into a parking space when someone zooms in ahead of you?  Hey, idiot, why was my turn indicator blinking?  Maybe some consider this a game of chicken.

 

-- Unreachable or unresponsive public servants. We have all of these people in local and county government who are ostensibly there to serve us. So why are they unreachable by phone calls - and why won't they answer the voice mail we leave?  Penny is president of our condo association and has been trying to deal with problems relative to the lake on which we live.  The lake is a city park but has become nuisance in some respects. We are plagued with hordes of noisy, pooping Canadian Geese. They are actually a health menace.  Will they help us with controlling them? No! Then there are the beavers that are gnawing away at beautiful trees that shade our property - and kllling them. Can we get them to relocate these little critters. Again the answer is no.

 

Well, I could go on with diatribes about noisy neighbors, disgusting TV commercials aired during dinner time, spam email, etc.  But this is where I am going to call it quits for the gripe session. Feel free to play the game and give us some more comments, won't you?

We sure let it all hang out here on Late Life. But we are by no means the only ones.  I am sometimes astounded by the personal stuff people will post on their blogs. Well, in that good blogging tradition, here are some personal quirks, likes and dislikes.

 

-- Doctors who keep you waiting for an hour really piss me off. It is bad enough that I have to start the wait in the outer waiting room where the magazines includie six-month-old Time and Newsweek. Hunting and Fishing, financial magazines - none of which are of any use. But then they take you to the examining room. "The doctor will be with your shortly."  Shortly? Bull puckey!  Another long wait and NO magazines here.

 

-- Self-appointed messengers of God who unrelentingly foist their piousness on you. These people are not just overly religious, they are obsessed. (Wow, this comment is going to bring some blow back!)

 

-- Patronizing young people who call me "Young Man" or who note that I am "84-years young."  Come on folks, you might was well call me an old fart. In fact, I would get a kick out of that.

 

-- You know what makes me happy? Someone who recognizes what I have between the ears and asks me to share it with them.  I love being a mentor.

 

-- I admit it - I like being recognized. In the late years one is away from the corporate connections that give one an identity. Then there is the experience of moving to a new city where nobody knows you except family.  But here in Blooomington, IL I do have an identity these days.  Most of it comes through being linked with Penny who  is widely known and liked.  But I also have developed some recognition through church work and the story about me in the local newspaper.

 

-- People in the condo who won't do their share for the association.  In the last election of officers we had great difficulty finding people to be president, secretary and treasurer.  So, Penny, who had been president for eight years, prior to the most recent president, agreed to do it for another year.  So, I took on the secretary job. We did find a treasurer. But who are these owners who think others should do al the work.? It bugs me a lot!

 

-- Understaffed retail stores. I hate Sears because I can never find someone to help me find what I am there to buy. It is just as bad at Kohl's and Lowe's. Just try to find someone to answer a question about merchandise items and location of merchandise. Yesterday Penny and I went to the new Shoppes at College Hills which has a collection of independent stores, in a small town center configuration. Each store we entered we were greeted by a helpful person.  So Penny bought merchandise there. These stores have been notably successful since they opened about a year ago. So, drop dead, Sears!

 

Well, I could go on with this, but let's just say that this is the first installment - and enough is enough.

In his book Healthy Aging  Andrew Weil M.D. reminds us of the importance of age and aging well. Ron Ropp of our church Wellness Committee selected this passage from the book that states the positive side of aging very well:

 

"... aging brings rewards as well as challenges and losses.  I direct your attention to areas where old and good are synonomous. What is it that moves us in the presence of old trees? Why are old wines and whiskeys valued more than young ones? What is it about aged cheeses that improves them so much?  Why does age benefit some violins? Why are some antiques so valuable?"

 

"Yes, aging can bring frailty and suffering, but it can also bring depth and richness of experience, complexity of being, serenity, wisdom and its own kind of power and grace. I am not going to tell you that this or that diet, this or that exercise routine, or this or that herb will make you younger. To age gracefully requires that we stop denying the fact of aging and learn and practice what we have to do to keep our bodies and minds in good working order through all phases of life."

 

"The first step toward aging gracefully is to look at the process squarely and understand it for what it is."

My sister-in-law was recently going through family mementos and came across some photos that she sent on to me. Here was my beautiful mother, who died in 1944, my father at an unknown age (he always looked 15 years younger than his actual age) and then a portrait of me.  I think this was taken when I was in my mid 40s.

 

Of course these pictures evoked a flood of memories. It is an emotional experience to revisit one's departed parents.

 

It would be an awful waste to put these portraits in a file and let them languish there until I am gone. So, I will share them with you.

 

Mother had a degree in music from Northwestern University in Evanston, IL. Dad was City Manager of Janesville, Wisconsin for decades. When this portrait of me was taken I was managing the office of McCann-Erickson advertising agency in Portland, Oregon.

 

So, the time machine has taken me back to those who were so loving and supportive of me as I went through my developing life. Maybe this will inspire some of you to take that trip back to the land of memories.